Interlight Main | Skit #1 | Skit #2 | Skit #3 | Skit #4
Characters:ANT- dressed in black, with one of those bug-antennae on his head.
CATSUP-a tall lady, dressed in red, with a slow southern accent.
MUSTARD-a short lady dressed in yellow, with a bright cheer-leader's disposition.
DOUGH-HEAD- a short person dressed in white and decidedly dumb.
TURKEY- Someone with a high profile and reputation as the church clown... the funny youth pastor perhaps or someone everyone knows as a fun person. This person is truly TURKEY material. He wears feathers in his hair, or if he is truly a TURKEY, he has several sticking out of his back pockets.
Props
ANT- Bug antennae for his head. Binoculars. A large cloth napkin, large knife and fork, all carried in a knapsack or hidden readily accessible, near his hiding place. A large potted plant to "hide" behind and peek through.
CATSUP and MUSTARD- signs tied around their necks with a recognizable trademark, such as Heinz, French's, etc.
DOUGH-HEAD- White Chef's hat and neckerchief.
TURKEY- Feathers
The Skit:
ANT: (comes sneaking in) Who am I? ... I'm an ant.... a creepy, crawly ant. What am I doing? I'm getting in shape for the Big Weekend coming up! Me and my brothers are going to be crashing the mother of all picnics. It's going to be.......Hold it! I'm getting something on my antennas. It's food! (picks up binoculars, from around his neck) South by Southwest, 12 o'clock High! Quick! Gotta hide! (Hides behind plant and peeks out every now and then smacking lips, etc. throughout play. Try not to upstage the rest, though!)
CATSUP: (Comes tottering and rolling in, singing all the while) Anticipation, Anticipa-a-tion is making you wait....wo, wo, wo... Whoa! (totters and almost tips over, until MUSTARD catches her and then sets her back up)
MUSTARD: Whoopsie, careful there!
CATSUP: Thanks little buddy!
MUSTARD: No problem. How have you been, anyway?
CATSUP: Oh, things have been going pretty slow.... Just the way I like it! Hows things with you?
MUSTARD: Well, I've been spread pretty thin lately.
CATSUP: Yeah, I can relate!
MUSTARD: Hey, are you ready?
CATSUP: For what?
MUSTARD: For the Big Weekend of course!
CATSUP: Oh Yeah! The ______(picnic, barbecue, etc.)____
MUSTARD: Saturday ___(Month/Date)______
CATSUP: What time does it start?
(MUSTARD tells her the details)
CATSUP: Who are you going with? Not that snooty Grey Poupon again?
MUSTARD: No...... He's been getting too uppity lately. He thinks he's King of the Condiments! (They giggle together). No, I think I'll take my little sister, Pint-size! At least she's got her lid on straight.
CATSUP: Gotta admit, she'd be a lot more fun. Besides, I hear they're gonna have games for kids... Bottle tops, Guess the number of beans in the Jar, Spin the Bottle......
MUSTARD: (laughing) She's probably too young for spin the Bottle but....Hey look who's coming!
BOTH TOGETHER: It's Poppin' Fresh, the Pillsbury Dough Boy!
CATSUP: Let's test him out..... (they poke him in the breadbasket)
DOUGH-HEAD: Hee, Hee, Hee.
MUSTARD: Yep, still the same old Dough-face! Are you going to ____(the Event)___?
DOUGH-HEAD: (shakes head vigorously "yes", while giggling) Hee, Hee, Heeee !
CATSUP: Life's just one big joke to you isn't it?
DOUGH-HEAD: ( shrugs his shoulders and again, shakes head vigorously "yes", while giggling) Hee, Hee, Hee?
CATSUP: (leans over to MUSTARD and stage whispers the following) You know, if you ask me, his biscuits don't raise all the way to the top....
MUSTARD: (stage whispers back) He doesn't know a thing, unless the boys in Advertising boys write it out for him! (Looks at DOUGH-HEAD and shakes her head up and down, and he copies the motion, still giggling) Oh, Yeah, you're going alright!
(Meanwhile, another person unobtrusively joins them.... It's TURKEY.)
CATSUP: Hey, who's that?
MUSTARD: Him? (points at TURKEY)
CATSUP: Yeah, who IS he?
MUSTARD: (Looks at Audience and "plays it up big") HE'S JUST A TURKEY!
TURKEY: (Looks at DOUGH-FACE, and DOUGH-FACE looks at him and says, brightly) Gobble, Gobble!
DOUGH-FACE: Hee, Hee?
TURKEY: Gobble?
(They carry on this intelligent conversation for awhile until MUSTARD and CATSUP, noting that this is their chance to ditch the dullards, sneak away together. Meanwhile...)
ANT: (Rubbing his hands together, and tuning up his antenna.....Ties a napkin around his neck bib-style and brings out large knife and fork. He rubs the knife and fork together and and says to the Audience...) Oboy, a Turkey sandwich! Yummmm..... (licks his lips and moves toward the duo)
TURKEY: (Squawks, when he sees ANT coming and moves toward exit, leaving a perplexed DOUGH-FACE. When DOUGH- FACE doesn't move, TURKEY comes back for him and hustles him out!)
ANT: (Winks at the audience and follows, menacingly!)
(ALL EXIT)
EVENT CHAIRMAN comes to the stage, fills in the Audience on the details of the event, and you are done.