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Cast:CLOWN- A character clown, like an old man type, or could be a whiteface clown with an appropriate cleaning costume on. Augustes are perfect for this role, when clothed with the accessories of a cleaning person.
SONGLEADER- If the job description fits, try it! It could also be a Youth Leader, or something else, with modification.
Props for CLOWN:
BROOM- the funnier the better. Attach a bicycle horn to a normal broom, to make it more "clown-like". LUNCHBOX- Kid-type, red would be nice but your choice. We labeled ours "Clown Chow". DOUGHNUT- to be found within the Lunchbox ALARM CLOCK- also to be found within Lunchbox. Old fashion type with a pull-out alarm "toggle" so SONG LEADER can start the alarm ringing at will, is best. FEATHER DUSTER-Small type that can be worn on the costume, within easy reach. BUTTON- Button has your Clown name, plus the initials A.A.C.
The Scenario:
CLOWN comes in sweeping with the clown broom and then sits down on a chair on-stage with a sigh and goes instantly asleep (head falls back and loud snoring will immediately commence).... SONG LEADER has been making an announcement about the up-coming event and does not notice CLOWN until he gets near the chair . Then SONG LEADER sees CLOWN sit down and fall asleep.
SONG LEADER's motivation is at first to be peeved at the interruption of his brilliant announcement; next,to discover who this person is and to try to wake him up; and when he can't do that, he will then try to stop whatever mayhem will ensue.
CLOWN's motivation is to stay "asleep" until the alarm goes off, with as much loud snoring as he can muster, even while sleepwalking!
Events:
SONG LEADER pokes CLOWN. Shakes him (clown makes a noise while snoring like "wabba, wabba, wabba" as he is shook... think of how they do it in the cartoons), and even tickles him to no effect. Yells at Him... jumps up and down and screams.. if you have an orchestra, you could even get a trumpeter to blow horn, near (not at....OUCH!) CLOWN'S ear and still nothing works.
SONG LEADER discovers lunch box, takes out doughnut and waves it under CLOWN's nose..... This starts him sleepwalking... CLOWN heads into the orchestra (or starts to drop off the stage, run into the pastor's podium, etc.), and SONG LEADER stops him just in time by using the "Dosey-doh" square-dance move. SONG LEADER nearly takes a header into the instruments instead.
SONG LEADER's angry now... runs to stand squarely in front of CLOWN so that he has to stop. CLOWN stops, quivers and then pulls out a feather duster. CLOWN dusts SONG LEADER off, all over... under his arms so that it tickles him, etc., until he "dusts" SONG LEADER's nose. SONG LEADER fakes a sneeze, whereupon CLOWN says "Gesundheit", SONG LEADER says "Thank-you", does a double-take and (surprised) gets out of CLOWN's way.
CLOWN dusts the bench and then sits down again, falling back instantly to the sleep position. SONG LEADER rummages through CLOWN's lunch box, pulls out the alarm clock, (with a Eureka! look on his face) and turns the alarm on.
CLOWN wakes up and stretches at the sound of the alarm.... looks around while scratching himself and then jumps when he sees SONG LEADER's glaring face. Zowie! Meaningful dialogue now begins!
SONG LEADER: Who are you?
CLOWN: (Points at name button and manages a nervous salute)
SONG LEADER: (says CLOWN's name, and then)........ A.A.C.? What do those initials mean?
CLOWN: Almost A Clown! (Or, you could say these initials mean "Always A Clown", "An Amazing Clown", or whatever fits your character.)
SONG LEADER: Almost a clown!?
CLOWN: (looks out at the audience and starts shaking with fright) Also A Coward!
SONG LEADER: (Turns CLOWN's head toward himself) Never mind them! Tell me what you are doing here!
CLOWN: (Stops shaking) I'm cleaning up the place for the big event this weekend!
SONG LEADER: Oh, yeah, I remember something about that... (rolls his eyes in disgust...) I'm in it!
CLOWN: Really? Then you know how much fun its gonna be.... There's gonna be a great eats, and then they're gonna _______ (fun activity)..... its gonna be more fun than a barrel of .... more fun than a barrel of uh...... (stops to think)...
SONG LEADER: (Thinks hard with CLOWN, *(see note) copying CLOWN's deep-in-thought pose)...Uh...
CLOWN: They jump around a lot.... (ticking off the attributes on his fingers)
SONG LEADER: Yes.. (also ticking off on his own fingers)
CLOWN: ..... scratch themselves....(ticking)
SONG LEADER: Yes, Yes...
CLOWN: ....scream.....(still ticking)
SONG LEADER: ...Yes, Yes, Yes...
CLOWN: ....wave their arms a lot...
SONG LEADER:....Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes
CLOWN: ... and they gotta a Big Mouth...
* Note: (An alternate action on the SONG LEADER's part could be to "Ape" CLOWN's description of the barrel's occupants. When he gets to the Big Mouth part, he could realize that he looks pretty stupid doing the monkey actions, and become embarrassed until....
SONG LEADER: (the light dawns) I got it! Monkeys...... funnier than a barrel of monkeys!
CLOWN: No that's not it...... (Thinks again, and SONG LEADER thinks with him).... Hmmm... (then says, pointing at SONG LEADER with a mischievous look). Oh, yeah, Uh.....funnier than a barrel of SONGLEADERS!
SONG LEADER: (It occurs to SONG LEADER that he has become the butt of the joke and he does a slow burn to audience, while clenching his fists, arms stiffly at his sides, and then turns to CLOWN) Why I oughta.....
CLOWN: (points to the far wall, past the SONG LEADER's head) Hey, look at that....! (SONG LEADER jerks around to look, and while SONG LEADER is so occupied, CLOWN grabs up all his stuff and leaves.... quickly!)
SONG LEADER: (gives him time to leave and then turns to discover CLOWN gone!)... I don't see anything! Uh, where did he go.... (shrugs his shoulders with hands out and waits for the audience reaction, which should be applause, we hope)
SONG LEADER: Well, be sure to come this weekend to the _____(big event)..... There are only a few tickets left, so be sure you don't SLEEPWALK through the rest of this week and miss a good time. See __________ in the back and get your ticket (reservation, give an R.S.V.P, etc.) today!
Final Note:
This should be played rather broadly, with big smooth cartoon-like gestures and actions. Let's face it, when you have a grown man in a clown suit and a rubber nose, you ain't gonna get Shakespeare!